A lot on my mind, a lot on my plate, a lot on my mindplate???

I'll be honest. I've been lazy to update this thing. It's harder to muster up the willpower to update a blog when you're geographically much closer to those who read it - a sense, whether true or not, that those people will then automatically know what's going on in your life. Anyways..

I'm back at school. I have a busy semester ahead, with 20 hours of class divvied up among courses in organic chemistry, physics, spanish, neuroscience, and also one in humanities (a lecture called "The Information Age".. not very interesting so far). I am continuing my work in the ovarian cancer lab that I picked up with in March, as well as volunteering at the local hospital to gain some hands-on experience (and hopefully a gushy recommendation letter to med schools about how nice I was!). So far it hasn't been awful, but darker days are ahead.

I want to say right now that I have never had a more clear view of the finish line than I do now, at least school/career-wise. I basically have planned out the courses I will need to take for the rest of college, the timeline of medical school admissions, etc.. etc.. I need to take some tough courses, raise my GPA, take my MCAT next summer, kiss professors' asses in the process and get recommendation letters, and then things will work themselves out. The application process for students who plan on going straight to medical school (without a gap year) apparently begins this upcoming spring for juniors. That is kinda coming up soon, yeah? I think my biggest goal will be to really, really focus on academics. Like never before. This year will really make or break my future, and I think that urgency is finally settling in my brain. No junioritis.. I can't afford it. It won't happen.

I think my plans for next summer are already coming together. Barring any radical changes, my plan is to take the mid-June MCAT. I think I would stay on campus and study, since all of my books are here anyways! Although it would be great to catch Yeon's graduation (as well as my cousin's UO grad), and I feel obligated to do so. I have to think that one out.

In mid- to late-June I would head to Spain for a month and a half for a summer-abroad program. Penn has an awesome program called 'Penn-in-Alicante', where students study Spanish language/culture at the University of Alicante. Alicante is located in the southern half of Spain's mediterranean coastline. I would take two courses there and wrap up my Spanish minor! My friend took that program this last summer and had good things to say, so I'm likely to head that way. (Hopefully Spain wins the World Cup while I'm there?!!)

And then to come home in late July, I think. Maybe for a few days. Though I haven't found home to be too interesting lately. My hope is to come home for a few days and relax, then spend 3-4 weeks in Korea, for the majority of August.

And then I've already completed another year.

I really enjoy trips to Korea - seeing family and friends is always good. But besides that, there's always the privilege of seeing a different culture. Wait, no, not just a different culture, but your INHERITED CULTURE. It was like my mind was finally ACTUALLY coming home after years of thinking my mind - my beliefs, customs, etc - was at home in the states. As if I had just been offered a red and a blue pill and I took the red. I think what I'm trying to say is that my MODE of thinking felt at home. I think like a Korean person, and that aspect was right at home in Korea.

I think physically I feel home in the US. I really do. I couldn't handle staying in Korea for too long, I think. The country is just too frickin claustrophobic. Mentally, though, I can reconcile. I think I still feel comfortable mentally in the states, but occasionally there are things that help reinforce the fact that I'm different here than the majority of the population. And by these things I point to things as diverse as Asian jokes, the difference in cuisine in the US and Korea, and the fact that I automatically get asked whether I'm Chinese or Japanese. Occasionally, if I mention that I'm actually Korean, I even get asked if I'm from North Korea.

..uh..

Like, what the fuck? It's as if you were just asked whether you were born and raised in Antarctica. I mean, it's comparable to that good friend you've had for a while who, even after you've gone to a college for two years, still can't tell you which college you actually go to.

I should go to bed.